I don’t know if God has entrusted you with a dream that sometimes terrifies you and makes you question whether or not it’s your idea or His. A dream that makes you doubt whether it has purpose or if anyone will understand. A calling so deeply woven into your fibers that it feels like the passion might kill you if you don’t take the leap. So doing it is scary. But not doing it is even more scary. And even just thinking about doing it terrifies you and ignites you all at the same time.
Do you relate to any of this? If so, I am starting to believe that these conflicting thoughts of doubt and fear after moments of joy and fulfillment, are exactly the master plan that the enemy uses most as his offense of confusion; to convince us to never start, and to never truly live in freedom.
Then we go from our own thoughts about ourselves to wondering about everyone else. What do they think of this dream?
Here’s what I have come to know as I have wrestled with ALL of these thoughts and more. We were never meant to be understood by the world. I find it interesting that the very words Jesus warned us to guard against are the very words clouding our view, especially in a social media centered culture. Words we see every day: followers, likes, and status. It is no wonder we feel crazy trying to pursue a dream from God in a space that we have given the power to tell us whether we are doing it “right” or not.
We will lose hope if we put energy into building a kingdom that crowns us rather than leading others to the King. Our stomachs churn and our hearts become sick when we think that we aren’t doing well with what we have been given. As believers, our hearts desire is to make Jesus known in our pursuit of serving Him with our gifts. And the enemy knows we are vulnerable to falter when we begin to think our worth is solely based on the gift rather than the Giver.
So I have decided that this is my battle plan: every time I struggle with the dreams I believe God has given to me, the moments when I begin to rely on my confidence instead of His assurance, when I start to slip away, listening to the whispering lies of “you’re too much, you’re too passionate” or the flip side aim, “you’re not ready, you’re not enough” – it is in these moments, I will choose to declare, “BUT GOD.”
Because so many redemptive verses in the Bible start this way:
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20)
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26)
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
And MY personal favorite:
“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” (1 Corinthians 1:27)
I can keep letting the lies swirl in my head and my heart about all the things I am not, or I can loudly shout to my enemy, BUT GOD!
For every dream God has for your life, the enemy has a matching strategy to snatch it. God’s dreams for us are often really hard to believe, to trust, and to commit to if we don’t keep our focus on Him and His faithfulness. We get to choose to fight for God’s plan. From what I have experienced, the enemy’s strongest tactics come down to two main arrows: 1) “I will make her look to herself and her frailty, and 2) “I will make her look to everyone else in comparison.” Both are an attempt to get our eyes away from His.
Jennie Allen once said, “Before killing your dream because someone else is already doing it, remember there are 7 billion people on the planet. I am just saying there is a chance that the other person is not reaching all of them.”
She’s right! But often we argue with God and ourselves with thoughts like:
“Someone is already doing this.” or “Someone else is already doing this, better.”
So here’s the real heart check: what is our motive? Is it to make ourselves feel special and unique or to obey Jesus?
To obey Jesus and be able to sit at His feet is what makes us holy. Set apart. Special. Unique.
A few years ago, Beth Moore wrote a book called So Long, Insecurity. She made me breathe a sigh of relief as she revealed that she still fights the lies of insecurity even after many years of ministry. I thank God she was honest enough to pen that book. Even if it was just for me.
Women all over are doing incredible things for the Kingdom because they dared to believe God wanted to use them. Isn’t it encouraging when the faithful women you admire admit that doing what God has called them to do has taken every ounce of obedience, bravery and belief? That they too once stood on the edge of a cliff and said, “what if I fall?” And Jesus replied, “oh my dear, but what if you fly?”
And I bet they were tempted many times to walk away. They became a target of the enemy. Because it seems to me that this is the freedom that comes from a life submitted to Jesus. The enemy becomes terrified as we start to believe that we, His servants, can do anything because the King is making us new.
We become a threat as we get stronger and begin believing that God wants to use us just as much as He wanted to use the mighty people of the Bible who weren’t known for being mighty at all. And the enemy knows this so he throws every pathetic arrow at us to get us to doubt, not ourselves, but our God. The enemy seems to do so by making us think about ourselves far too much. He does his best to make us rely on our own strength and worth instead of seeing God’s strength and the true identity in which we operate.
If the enemy can get you stuck in comparison and self-reliance, you won’t ever be free to live in His divine plans for your life, and no one will ever see what you were born to bring into this world.
And get this: the Creator of the universe shares with us His attribute of making something out of nothing. He lets us create! We build businesses, organizations, ministries, art, relationships, and so much more. He inspires us and then we get to be part of fashioning the beautiful work of His heart. We make something new.
Look at Gideon for example (Judges 6-8). God told Gideon that he was a mighty man of valor while he was in hiding! He’s referred to as the unlikely hero. This man goes from wheat farmer to leader of a great army because God spoke value over him and said, “here’s what I see.” God doesn’t wait until we are “ready.” We are NEVER ready. He decides who He sees us to be; who He is committed to empowering, and then He tells us that the outcome of our obedience will be deemed successful in His eyes if we stay with Him and trust His plans. Did you notice I said successful in His eyes? That’s the only kind of success I want to seek. A daughter’s desperate approval from her Father.
Daddy, do I please you? Are you pleased with my heart and the work of my hands?
That is why I won’t quit. That is why I will hold onto the hand of Jesus so tight on this journey of faith and let Him deal with all the details. I want to please Him.
So it’s time. I am going to take my dreams off the shelf of fear, wipe off the dust of insecurity and get going.
Life is but a vapor and God gave us these gifts for a reason! And it’s called a gift, so it wasn’t earned or deserved or based on the world’s definition of success, performance or expectations. It’s a gift. A gift to be used in us and through us in order to change our city, church, neighborhood, workplace, and family.
Do you believe that? That YOU have certain abilities and a unique purpose and passion given to you by God? And if you are unsure, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal this to you. He loves you so much, and He desires to tell you His best and biggest plans in His perfect time. Sometimes we don’t know because we haven’t asked. Don’t be afraid to ask! And get ready; He may reveal His steps are different than you would have planned. But they will be beautiful. You will be pruned and fruitful for His glory.
Trust that the Father is speaking to you, Daughter. Loving you, Leading you, Liberating you.
He is making you new.