Last week, my massage therapist got me all ready for the end of my session by reminding me that the neck exercises are best if I am all bundled up like a little burrito.
“Last time I gave you a massage, girl, you escaped! Try to settle in tight.”
“I know, I know! I am sorry! I don’t know what made me break away last time. Haha…”
“Girl you are just breaking out of your cocoon!”
Um. WHAT. Say that again please?
We all know that Jesus uses massage therapists through their mighty spiritual gift of amazingness but did you know that sometimes He speaks through them, too?
I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said…Lord! You are saying something to me, aren’t you??
Then it got weirder and louder because that is just how Jesus likes to speak to me. Maybe because I am one of His weird, loud ones! 😉
James and I sat down for dinner at a restaurant after my massage and I excused myself to use the ladies room. Now remember, not even an hour before this the massage gal said I was breaking out of a cocoon! Laying on top of the paper dispenser was a diamond butterfly charm someone had lost from her bracelet and left behind.
WHAT IS HAPPENING and WHY DOES GOD FEEL THE NEED TO SPEAK TO ME IN THE BATHROOM?!
But it’s true. This is how it happened. Jesus speaks in some funny ways. In the Village Inn bathroom, if that helps. Because James and I eat free pie on Wednesdays like 80 year olds.
So I said “Ok Jesus, let’s talk butterflies and cocoons.”
I began studying everything I could find out about butterflies:
- Butterflies can be in their cocoon or “chrysalis” for 30 days or a year. That’s how diverse they are and how different their dark seasons of transformation can be.
- Butterflies start off as caterpillars and turn into what scientists call “Butterfly Soup.” This is so gross, y’all. Metamorphosis Soup. They literally turn into mush, all parts of their body broken apart to be made into something new: a BUTTERFLY!
- A caterpillar literally only serves one purpose: to spend the entire season of its life feeding and nourishing itself in order to become a butterfly someday.
- Before a caterpillar can become a butterfly in its cocoon, it has to shed several layers of skin in order to grow.
- Caterpillars have mushy skin but butterflies get thicker, hardened skin “to offer better protection.”
- It may appear a butterfly is resting in its cocoon, but instead, a transformation is happening on the inside. It is changing rapidly to go from a ground animal to one that touches the sky.
So it turns out that in 2016, I was living in a Brianna Soup Mush of myself to be broken apart in order to be made new. It was dark, lonely, slow, thicker skin appearing to protect me, layers coming off so I could grow, and wings appearing to take me to a new place, new heights. Can I be real? It was wonderful and awful all at the same time.
This process is amazing but sooooo not pretty. And if you’re reading this and have realized you’re going through a cocoon season too, I just want to say: I understand. I am a recent butterfly myself. Like what in the world has been happening? That cocoon season was ROUGH. But here’s what I know now in the breakthrough: I was beginning to see the light in the cracks and a way to freedom out of my cocoon but I had begun apologizing for it! I was growing wings but writhing in fear with thoughts to Jesus like, “What if I fail? I have never flown before!”
And my dear sweet Jesus said to me, “Oh my dear, but what if you fly?”
Some butterflies can fly up to 3000 miles without losing their way. They can travel 30 miles per hour.
Caterpillars don’t even travel 1 mile in an hour.
So you see…land or sky. It’s your choice. It could be merely 30 days or it could be over a year, but your cocoon is yours, designed by the grace and glory of the One who made you. You can stay in the cocoon but I think your heart will die. Your gifts will lie dormant. It’s too dark to stay in there forever.
You weren’t made to stay.
So what will you do when He says it’s time to fly? What will you do when the wings are formed and your heart is ready for something more?
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?” Isaiah 43:19 (THE MSG)
May this song be your anthem: